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Friday, April 16, 2004
don't let the sun go down on me...
i love youu... _i'm in love with love  Thursday, April 15, 2004
just let me cry. and let the tears flow freely. let's just say, i'm over you. i dowan to love anymore. i'm afraid to love.. let love pass me by pls. now that you're gone, all the precious moments we spent together are now just painful memories... i gave you my heart, yet you broke it again and again.. i've given up on us already. it's no use saying i'm sorry now. it's just too late. i'm not going to turn back... but yes, i still do love you. more then ever.. loving you more each second. but... i've already given up waiting... i'm letting you go now...
i'm trying to put away the pain,slowly.. i wonder when is it exactly the time when i can put everything aside and move on? i wonder when i can pluck up and say goodbye to you... why does the route ahead suddenly seem so long and draggy? because... it's gonna be without you.. i hate to stand here waiting, as i see chances fade away. i don't dare to hope for a chance anymore. because im so so so tired.. if only there would be another lifetime, i wish both of us would last. seems like this lifetime,we're just not meant to be.. I did all i could. i said all i could say. i gave it my best shot.. I'm soo worn-out. soo tired. there's no point in saying anything now. u never listened anywayy... _i'm in love with love today is our 6 months. didn't say anything to him. first time. cos usually i will send an sms to him saying happy [whatever] months! but today, i just didn't tell him. i think it's becos i wanted to show him that i don't care.. but i doubt he will even rmb that today will be 6 months since we're together.. nvm.. i won't be bothered by that. my life will still go on.. i think. =X _i'm in love with love Wednesday, April 14, 2004
-sighh- tml will be our 6 months already. it's been tough going through this 6 months. it's been long and hard for me. i'm not really looking forward to it. that is so un-me..
hmmx. he rejected me at friendster. whyy. avoiding me. againn. what for. if this is the case, then just break up lorh. -sighh- the rejection reminds me of what happened approximately 6 months ago. and it causes my heart to break... it was 13102003, monday. one 12102003, my mum called him and scolded him becos i was talking to him on the phone. he met me at bugis on 13102003. i was with cheryl, hannah, pauline and samantha. i had practically screwed everything up becos i brought so many girls with me. he had something to tell me. there was something good and something bad. and of cos i said i wanted to hear the bad one first. but i can't rmb what the bad one was. something about my mum calling him last night i think. and the good news is that we can still be friends. it's really tough for me at that time. becos i was rejected. then after that, i just walked around bugis in a daze. and cheryl and pauline and hannah were playing a game with me. not really a game. just that i felt it was a game. and i was so tired of it that i just took the mrt and went home. but no one knew. bleh. so i got into real big trouble. bleh. then when i was going home in the mrt, i almost cried. thinking stuffs through. and i thought i will be ok without him. actually, i am ok without him. i still talked to him as per normal. and of cos i said sorry for running away. i was just scared.. hmm. then two days later, on 15102003, i was talking to him. and he was acting wierd. him: are you free? me: why? him: can come out? me: for what? him: i have something to tell you. me: say here larh. him: but more sincere if i meet you and tell you. me: nvm larh. just say here. him: but after i say it i will put down the phone. me: ok. just say larh. him: err. dowan larh. me: say say say say! him: err.... i think i'm falling in love with you.. -silence for awhile- me: i thought you say you going to put down the phone? him: you want me to put down the phone arh? ok lorh. me: huh? don't need larh. him: erh... me: what? him: nvm. i know you sure say no one. me: what larh? him: err... will you be my stead? me: er.. er.. er... er.... o....k... then blah blah blah. can't rmb the rest of the conversation. but i was on cloud nine.. (: the next day, a thursday, 16102003, we went out on our first date. all around city hall that area. i met him at the city hall mrt station. then he brought me to meet his mum. after that, we just walked around suntec. he held out his hand to me. and i acted ignorance. me: what? him: give me your hand. me: [blush] dowan... [sticks tongue out at him] him: give me larh. me: dowan dowan dowan! then we just walked on around suntec. going nowhere in paticular. then we went to this chinese garden in suntec. set down at one of the tables. then he played with me hp. while smoking. =X after that, when we were walking out, he suddenly just grabbed my hand and hold me hand. i blushed like mad. but i didn't let go. (: after that, walked around at derno where. was pulling his hand. he said i treated him like a monkey. lolx. d: then blah blah blah. after walking around, he brought me back to pasir ris. i met lynette at her blk downstairs to go for tuition. and i was still holding his hands when walking to tuition. (: after that, met pauline outside tuition centre. he wanted me to kiss him. but of cos i didn't. d: oh. and he was tickling me the whole day. and everyone knows that i'm scared of tickles. =X was just blushing. (: oh!! and i brought this little toy that when you tap it, it will say "i love you, i love you." cute! (: then on saturday, 18102003, his mother bought me dinner after youth meeting. but we couldn't eat at united square or novena square cos later the saints see and the mother got meeting at 7.30. so she gave him the money to treat me. so kind! (: then he brought me to pasir ris to eat. after eating, met samantha. went to the park playground. and i had a postcard for him. but i didn't want to give him. so he was over there chasing me and trying to get it. lolx. then samantha dared him to do alot of stuff. she dared him to hug me and kiss me. ?! after that, she went home and he brought me home. at my house downstairs, he ask me to give him goodbye kiss. buden i dowan larh. then he say give him a hug. then i just go and hug him. felt kinda nice cos it was the first time i hugged someone. [?!] hmmx. then after that he ask me to kiss him. and he tried. i just kept shaking my head. in the end, he kissed me on the lips. -blush- next day, 19102003, sunday, he met me after church. we went to the park. samantha also went with us. then she was still daring him to do stuff. she ask him to kiss me on the lips. haha. i think cos she thought he kissed me on the cheeks. =X if lidat, he already kissed me on the cheeks on 16102003. yup.. hmm. then dare him to do alot of silly stuffs. so lame sia. _i'm in love with love Tuesday, April 13, 2004
when the sun ever stops shining, that's when i'll stop loving you...
_i'm in love with love just let me cry. let the tears flow down freely.. maybe we're just not meant to be... [i wish i never knew you_*] i just need some time alone. sorry guys. if i've been acting like a jerk this few days. you're the only one that can mend my broken heart. _i'm in love with love Sunday, April 11, 2004
why must you break my heart over and over again? i hate you now. i really do.
to him: i won't be going to the conference anymore. happy? now you can go with ease. and stop giving me trouble. you can't gimme trouble anymore anyway. cos i'm not going to sms you anymore.. I HATE YOU. you win larh. make me cry again. fuck you man. i wish i NEVER knew you. just so pissed with him now. i'm so sure that he don't love me anymore. fine. i don't care anyway. i don't wanna carry on living anymore. go away- _i'm in love with love i'm feeling so hopeless now... _i'm in love with love |
