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Saturday, March 20, 2004
maybe i should just keep my distance from him for the time being. just be a fren to him. instead of a girlfren. but i won't break up with him. it's going to hurt so much. i don't know. maybe i should just ask him what he thinks and what he wants. i love God but what i'm doing is hurting Him. and everyone else. we should just maintain a healthy relationship. a relationship that is honourable in the eyes of God and everyone else. i wish i can. but it's difficult... cos i love him too much.. i just have to try...
_i'm in love with love  went to church today. was at the pau shop and was like asking my bro to get out of the car to go to church then suddenly got someone cycle by and very very fast. and i saw that it was him lorh. bLeH. he so freaky. haha. then later i ran into church to go toilet. urgent mah. haha. then when we were about to go in, he suddenly run out. got a shock kaex. haha. then later i saw him by a window running across the road to shell. so scary. like he just run across lidat. bLeH. later get accident then he know arh. hehe. -touch wood- then sang hymns. sing sing sing. then after that went to extension hall. then i was like walking backwards in. cos i scared got stain. haha. then i feel very funny walking lidat. hehe. after the very very fast meeting in the extension hall, we seperated into our small groups. after the small group meeting, i went for dinner with sis alice and sis min sze. they talked to me about him lorh. i almost cried kaex. after they talked to me, i had headache and fever leh. -sigh- i'm really confused now. i don't know what to think. bLaH. nvm. then we went back to church to wait for my mum. sis alice waited with me larh. then when we walked into church, i suddenly saw him lorh. then i think he quite surprised to see me in the church so late. but i just don't care him larh. walked past him like i don't even know him lorh. -sigh- i feel bad kaex... i'm thinking. but i don't know what i'm thinking. i wish i'm spared from all this pain. i wish i never knew you in the first place. then i wouldn't have fallen in love with you..... but i'm glad i loved you. cos i really do. and i never ever wanna let you go... _i'm in love with love Monday, March 15, 2004
i can't sleep when my heart hurts so much and my tears won't stop flowing. you're the only one who can heal my heart and dry my tears... i love you... pls say you will forgive me.. come back...
_i'm in love with love Sunday, March 14, 2004
omg. i can't believe it. i just broke up with him. i mean i just sent him an sms and said it's over. what's the matter with me? i love him yet i broke up with him. i think this is pms. but i can't take back what i said right? can i? i wish i can... i'm so sad. i'm crying. i wonder what's the point of living. tml will be 5 months. i broke up with him today. 152 days. but i loved him more than that. i loved him since the first sunday of december in the year 2002. i've been loving him since then. the feeling don't just fade away you know. why. why. why. why did i say what i said? i can't stop crying. the world's all against me. i hate me. i really do hate me...
_i'm in love with love |
