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Saturday, March 13, 2004
i'm feeling so damn hurt now. you hurt me. tore my heart apart. and expect me to still love you. but i do still love you. more than ever. cos i never want to lose you. i feel hurt. but i want the hurt to go away. so i love you.
_i'm in love with love  sometimes i just wanna run away. away from it all. just so much pain and confusion inside. but that ain't stopping me from loving you,though i feel myself fading inside. somebody save my soul pls. Two hearts that belong together From the very start One love now and forever Nothing can tear us apart. _i'm in love with love i can't see myself lovin' somebody but you. i'm holding onto you,onto what we have. Love what you have before you lose it all. _i'm in love with love i don't wanna fall in love. who needs to feel that way who needs those words to say who wants to give their hearts to watch it fade away. cuz ive made up my mind i didnt wanna know, why should i find a love that isnt here to stay, i wasnt waiting until u came along, and now i need you to tell me where my heart belongs but i dont wanna fall in love, till i fall in love with you and you showed me what my heart already knew. i dont wanna fall in love, till i know the love is true cuz i need (cuz i need) you to feel the way i do, when i give my heart to you Ive seen the tears they cried, when its time for goodbye i didnt wanna be the one whos asking why i didnt think that i would ever feel so strong, but now i know that i was wrong Now i believe it's worth the chance to find a love that lasts for all my life give me a sign so i will always know this love is right. this love is right.. But i don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love) till i fall in love with you and you showed me what my heart already knew (What my heart already knew) I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love, no) till i know the love is true cuz i need you to feel the way i do when i give my heart to you _i'm in love with love i love every moment i spent with you... but they're all just memories of mine now. i doubt you even rmbed them... _i'm in love with love you pick me up when my world starts to fall. becos you love me. [but my world is falling. and i'm dropping faster then i expected. becos you don't love me anymore. or at least i can't feel the love anymore_*] _i'm in love with love i feel like i lost everything when you're so distant from me.. left remembering what it's like to have you here with me. don't leave me ever.. _i'm in love with love i still love you like before. but do you still love me like before? or have you ever loved me before? life just sucks. _i'm in love with love knock me down but i'll still keep on moving cos that's the art of losing... i'm sorry for me loving you _i'm in love with love Thursday, March 11, 2004
if you keep on tearing my heart apart every second, it won't have a chance to heal. and soon, there will be no more left for you to tear. when that happens, it'll signify the end. i won't have anymore feelings. my heart will be too numb to feel anymore. i may still love you, but i doubt i will be able to feel it...
i wonder why am i still living? i live to love and to be loved. i'm loving but not being loved in return. not being loved in return by the person i'm loving. maybe that's not right for me to say. i should just say i can't feel that love. so it's either i have no more feelings liao or that he's not returning my love.. -sigh- i just feel so scared now. i feel so weak. i feel so fragile, so vulnerable. i need his love... +pRiNcEsS+ emotionless _i'm in love with love Wednesday, March 10, 2004
he hasn't replied any of my messages since the last message on friday. i think i don't care anymore. or at least i don't want to care anymore. i'm just too heartbroken now.
+pRiNcEsS+ heartbrokened _i'm in love with love Sunday, March 07, 2004
oh gawd. i'm now in such an extreme bad mood k. i started off yesterday in a good mood. but when he didn't bother to reply my messages, my mood dampened and when my mum didn't allow me to go for gospal meeting, i was in such an extreme bad mood. plus i fell down k. wah lau. idiotic sia.
ok. since he didn't reply me, i shall show him that it doesn't bother me. though it does. so during meeting, i was cheerful. though i wasn't. but i had to show him it didn't matter if he replied or not. that i don't give a damn. so i just had to paste a smile on my face. but whenever i locked eyes with him for awhile, which was very seldom cos i never looked at his direction cos i was angry, i will just roll my eyes and looked away with a sorta bored look on my face. then during the small group, i was sitting right opposite him but of cos in different groups. no one was blocking him from me and no one was blocking him from me. so i could feel him staring at me all the while. i could feel and i could see with the corner of my eyes. so i never looked at his direction or something. i was so pissed with him k. so instead of looking straight, i looked down on the floor. cos if i look straight, i'll look straight into his eyes. and i don't want that. so i didn't look straight. when they were praying, his head was the only one not bowed. he made me feel so uncomfortable yet so loved. then after my group finished praying, we went off. then after awhile, their group finished. anyway. i had to wait for that group to finish also cos i need to wait for my bro. but i didn't wait there larh. i waited downstairs. then when they came down, my bro was with him. i mean he was with my bro. obviously he was the one "sticking" to my bro right. bleh. cos of me larh. somemore he tell my bro he want to bring him go drink beer one day. i was like rolling my eyes k. to samantha larh. cos my back was towards him. somemore he say until so so so loud. hello. i'm not deaf k. obviously he say until so loud is to get my attention or something. but i'm not going to look at you just becos you said that. bLeH. -sigh- though i've been saying all this stuff, doing all this things, i really miss him so so much. i want to be able to run into his arms again. i wanted to be able to have his shoulder for me to cry on. i miss hugging him... i just miss him so so much. but tell me what's the point? whenever i called him, just to hear his voice, just becos i missed him, all we ever did was slam down the phone on each other. does he even miss me? i don't think he does. all he knows is to sleep, eat, watch tv, and work. if i don't call him for one month and i don't see him, i think he'll forget about me and think that i never existed. oh gawd. just thinking of this makes me want to die k. why are all the feelings so negative? =( -sigh- i just miss him so much... +pRiNcEsS+ sighing _i'm in love with love |
